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Mike Rose
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Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

I must admit, I'm impressed. We are all impressed. You have shown a capacity for a wide array of trickery and shadowy assaults. You have shown that you are able to hack into most, if not all of our accounts and devices. All in all it's quite impressive and I tip my hat to you. You've also won some great victories. But, in the end here, I realize it is because we have allowed you to have them. By acknowledging, and reading, and reacting to your vicious, cowardly nonsense. You've gotten as far as you have due to our poor reaction instincts. You won a great victory this past weekend. Whether or not it was your aim, you finally caused me to snap and react. That may have been what you were after or exactly the opposite. I may never know. But, rest assured it was your last. Starting today, starting now, we (Jenn, Michael, myself) our all taking our lives back.

You've shown tremendous proficiency, but that's done with because after this little message is done, there will be no more acknowledgement of it. Any emails from unrecognized addresses, or even those close to ours will be acknowledged, they will be deleted. Same goes for any unexpected communications between all of us. Never will be read. You can mess with friends settings or post nonsense on our social media pages, we'll just change them back and delete them. Anything else you try will be summarily dealt with, ignored and handled.

I will say this. If you have issue with me. I'm not hard to find. You likely know where I live, and my number. Use them. Actually have enough courage to do that. I know you won't because immature cowards don't react that way. They hide where they feel they are safe. You've taken your best shot. It failed. And realizing that we have the power to make everything else fail is what is most important. If you want me, come and get me. Take your best shot. But, realize this. It will all fall short like an echo in an empty room. Endless rebounding until it dwindles into nothing, with no one there to hear or care what was said.

I considered whether or not to make this public or private. Because I know there are people out there whose lives are so empty that they troll my networking sites to take pleasure in my pain and misfortune. And if they so chose to here, fuck 'em. Enjoy you sad, petty fucks.

Today is a rough, rough day. I ended my relationship with my girlfriend. We were together a little over 9 months. I won't get into why. It doesn't matter for the purposes of this entry and frankly isn't really for discourse with anyone but those I chose to share it with. It sucks though. At the end of the day I had to make a decision based on information and research that I had available. It wasn't perfect, but I felt it was clear and close enough to lead me to my conclusions (and before you think it, no it had nothing to do with her cheating). And so, I made my choice and decision. And it hurt, a lot and it still hurts and likely will for a long time. Because I hurt her a lot. Because in the end, I bonded with her children and they won't understand and it will hurt them too. Because there was a chance for a future with her and them and I cared about her.

But, most of all because I'll likely never know for sure if I was 100% right. That is going to be the toughest part to swallow. Oh, I'm pretty damn sure. But, as they say, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. And yeah, maybe today counts as a hand grenade. If I'm right, then this was for the best because things could not be this way. But, if I'm wrong... I just crashed  a wrecking ball through my own happiness. Bully for me, right?

I feel shallow and empty.... And truly and completely alone. I don't regret my decision. And make no mistake, it's my decision. No one elses. I hold no one else responsible for what I chose to do. I am a grown man and am responsible for my choices. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though. But, sometimes pain is necessary to grow and adapt.

I don't wish her ill. Maybe that's strange, maybe not. I hope she ends up with the custody she deserves of her children. She is a wonderful mother. And she has become a much stronger, self assured person since I met her. And hopefully she will find some real, true, lasting happiness in the end. That's all one can hope.

I start to wonder if that is my purpose. To help people gain a measure of self confidence. Who knows.

I can only hope I was right. Because staring at the alternative is more painful than I want to admit.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: Morose
Current Music: Sleep Walking - Avantasia

This weekend, the world lost an amazing woman. My brother, Michael lost his Mom. Losing a mother, for a son, is never an easy thing. It's an age old cautionary tale, never come between a boy and his mother, and even death should fear it.

I've known Michael for about 15 years now and I've known his Mom just as long. For many, many years we lived right across the street from her. In that time I got the chance to meet and become a surrogate son to an extraordinary woman. Michael never had a father that he knew of. And his Mom raised him on her own. I'm sure considering the times and her age that she was told by many that she couldn't do it on her own, that Michael wouldn't get what he needed to become a fully functioning and well adjusted member of society. They couldn't have been more wrong... See, there is one thing I know about the Soper family that many probably do not... They persevere. I truly thing if you trace their linage back to ancient times, you'll find that somewhere along the line there is Mule and Bull DNA. Because stubbornness is bone deep in this family. And as frustrating as that can be, it does give them what is needed to achieve any goal when they set their sites on it. I know Michael didn't have a lot, materially growing up, but he was given a wealth of what he needed in personality traits. She raised a well adjusted, loyal and honorable man. One that I personally, have always looked up to like an older brother. And that comes from how his Mom raised him. She taught him that it's not the niceties you have in life that make a home or a good person, but who you are and who you surround yourself with.

Debbie never had a lot, but she was never afraid to share what she did with those she loved. Every Christmas, she would have a present for me. It was anything large, it was a hand knitted tree ornament and a couple dollars, but it was from the heart and it meant the world to me. Especially because I wasn't her blood and she didn't need to do anything for me. But, she always did and treated me like family. When we experienced the fire that took our home and my babies, she took care of us. And handled me as gently as a babe in swaddling clothes. Showing that beneath a gruff exterior was was a mother that would take care of her children when they were hurt and needed it. I am still grateful to this day for that.

But, at the end of the day, her son and his happiness was the center of her world. The sun rose and set on him to her. Her love for him knew no bounds and even though she didn't always know the best way to express it, she was and is so very proud of him and all he has accomplished. From his time serving our country, to his career with the State, to his pending graduation from college, to his black belt, to the family he has built and the son he has fathered.

Losing a mother, any family member, is the hardest thing in the world. You always wonder about all the things unsaid, all the things unexperienced and all the things that you never got a chance to do. Finding solace is hard knowing that someone you talked to every day and shared the highs and lows of your life with is no longer there to share that connection with.

However, I can say this to give some sense of peace. Debbie may no longer be here physically, but I know from losing my Mom that she is in spirit. And know that she left us with a full heart. She left knowing her son has a loving family, a blossoming career, a house, will soon be the first in the family with a college degree and a wonderful, healthy son. If there is one thing mothers fear, it's that their children aren't happy and don't have good things. Your mom left knowing that you have what you need to be happy and to  have a comfortable life. So, keep your head high. Keep the good memories close to your heart. And know that she is there smiling, happy for you and very proud of you. She will continue to guide your steps until you both meet again one day.

A twist of faith.... Coming soon.

Current Mood: energeticenergetic

 Remember to check out MY BRUTHA Ian's blog at: www.thedailydoseofreality.com/

1 - What part of 'no' do you not understand?
The part where you think I'm wrong

2 - Which current reality show do you think you could win?
The Amazing Race, with my Dad

3 - Would you amputate your right arm for ten million dollars?
Fuck and No

4 - If I say, just bring it - what you got?
7 Cats, your argument is invalid.

and finally...

5 - You are opening a restaurant. What type or theme of food are you serving?
Cajun Food

Current Mood: amusedamused

 1 - Think back as far as you can, what's the first tape, record, etc you remember listening to?
Karma Chameleon from the Culture Club or the Boy the From New York City, can't remember which.

2 - What's the first concert you've ever been to, the year and who performed?
First "concert" Damn Yankees at Memorial Stadium after an O's game. First real concert is the same as Ian, we went to the show together. Megadeth, with the then unknown opening act Stone Temple Pilots.

3 - Ever bleed from your ass?
Considering the grade of TP at work, this is a no brainer.

4 - If you went to your Senior Prom and had a date, do you still speak to said person?
I didn't go. I had a date, Lina, but I had a near nervous breakdown and we broke up a couple of weeks before.

and finally...

5 - Name the one television show that's no longer on the air that could have gone on forever.
Hmmmmmmm.....I'd have to go with Scrubs. It just seemed to consistently work. At least for me.

Remember to visit my BRUTHA Ian's blog at www.thedailydoseofreality.com/

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted

  • 07:37:09: Why am I awake
  • 08:59:51: Kill me. ugh. lol
  • 10:03:47: In my best Lewis Black voice: And theres still 3 hours to go!
  • 10:22:00: "Just dont give up, im workin it out. Just dont give in, I wont let you down"
  • 12:15:18: Im working on a way to speed up time next. much needed at the moment.
  • 12:38:12: Asshattery is afoot
  • 13:43:43: @Theddor Ahem. Theres sand on my shoe
  • 14:26:30: When the scorpio in me comes out, he comes out
  • 14:45:34: The wheel weaves as the wheel will
  • 14:55:45: Oh joy, ANOTHER line
  • 15:04:04: Time to hurry up to wait some more
  • 15:48:48: Lets play the case of the missing graduate
  • 15:54:53: The never ending story,la la la, la la la, la la la
  • 16:18:22: I believe the next plague is locusts
  • 18:37:58: Guiness makes everything better
  • 21:01:56: Oh i cant wait to see my bed

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  • 18:37:49: @theanswrspurple OMG right! I used to think this when I was 18 and would go in for speeding tickets. People older than I couldn't dress.

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